A month or so I went to a casting studio ( you know one of those that keep some photos of you and a small video). I was extremely anxious because afterwards I was having my phonetics class so I wanted to be done as fast as possible. There was the usual guy (that now I cannot recall his name), so I fill my application and I was waiting for my turn (there was another guy in, first of me, though I was ten minutes earlier). When he finished, I enter, leaving the door behind me, half opened (I was asked so) and I was ready… Then the guy was asking things about my life and interests but with the camera off. I was explaining to him the situation with my parents and he told me something he heardImage from a Swedish woman; children are borrowed people, that afther their 18th year are free to go anywhere they want. So he advised me to leave my parents and free myself to go wherever I want to.
     I didn’t get it back then, because after I left I assume the guy continue doing his job properly without advising all the others too. But now I got it, the guy didn’t saw a guy just walk in, he saw a man full of energy and opportunities. So he told me all those things because I own to myself my freedom of mind.
     It’s very difficult for a small man to find out how he looks to others while he defines himself the moment he meets someone. A friend’s mother told me the same thing, that I shouldn’t be afraid to express what I want from the world, and she is probably right. I am not afraid to flirt someone, to show them that I desire to be my company but I can’t show that to my dream job and I dunno why. Lack of self esteem, I dunno, I was always with people with really low self esteem but I never felt bad for who I am, though many of them try to put me down I always send them away. I met a psychiatrist the other day and she told me that I see the things some kind of black-ish and she was right, I am not the no-cloud- in my sky person…I am really shy, that’s why I like shy movies, shy lovesongs, shy characters because they end up growing the desperation inside of them and at the end of the movie they rise the light to occasion. I hate the characters from the beginning they are powerful and full of muscles, I always want these to be dead in the end, though you always fall for their beauty, but I am good-looking too, you just have to fight more for my love and certainly is not a sexual kind of love…I think it’s time to man up a little…I think it’s time for London…

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